


Even As I Wander (ON HOLD)

by chestervlle



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, F/M, Near Death Experiences, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-18
Updated: 2014-03-08
Packaged: 2018-01-05 03:02:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1088832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chestervlle/pseuds/chestervlle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's been three years since Jo Harvelle has seen or heard from the Winchester brothers. Dean left her with a promise of a phone call he never intended to make. Now the brothers need her help, even if neither of them want to admit it. </p><p>Dean Winchester/Jo Harvelle fanfiction starting during the events of Season 5, Episode 2: Good God Y'all of Supernatural. Yes, this is going to be a DeanJo centered fic, but I will be spending time strengthening friendships between other characters as well.</p><p>The major character death warning is not referring to Dean or Jo. Don't worry. I won't kill either of them off, but fair warning: someone close to them will likely die.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Good God Y'all

**Author's Note:**

> This is my original story using many of the characters of the television show, Supernatural, along with possibly some direct quotes and plot developments. I do not intend any disrespect towards the show or the writers, I have only written this for enjoyment.
> 
> All chapter names are songs either by Gotye or Passenger.

Jo didn’t know what to think. Staring down at Sam Winchester, eyes black. She’d watched Rufus tie him up as she held a sob in her throat. This was bigger than she’d thought.

Rufus had called up her mother, asking for help on a job. Jo had been hunting ever since her last meeting with the Winchester brothers. At first, alone. Until Ellen insisted coming along. She really had nothing else to live for. No roadhouse, no Ash, nothing. All they had was each other. It was the only way for Ellen to keep and eye on Jo anyways. Jo was stubborn as hell; she’d never give up hunting, not now. Not after she got a taste of it. Ellen could blame that on the Winchester boys, but she knew hunting was in her daughter’s blood. Jo wouldn’t lie and say they had nothing to do with it though; she desperately wanted to prove them wrong, all of them. No one ever believed in her. She wouldn’t deny that she’d get anxious sometimes, the job scared the shit out of her. But it gave her purpose.

Jo didn’t like hunting with others. Sure, backup was nice once in awhile. God knows Jo had gotten herself into her share of sticky situations the past few years. She had more scars than she could count. But given the choice, she’d rather not have her mom with her. They were each other’s weaknesses. She’d ran off quite a few times. Somehow, Ellen always found her. Yelled at her louder, threatened to tie her up. They’d always end up in embrace, tears rolling.

Jo tried to hold back the tears she had now. Breathe. She told herself. Assess the problem.

The problem. Or rather problems. Sam still knocked out, tied to a chair. Ellen off somewhere, possessed as well. And Dean. He was here, she knew it. You don’t get one Winchester brother without the other. Yes, Dean was here. Probably possessed. Jo couldn’t make any sense of it. Both Sam and Dean have anti possession tattoos, and her mother wears a charm.

Sam’s eyes fluttered open as he began to fight against his restraints. Both Rufus and Jo stepped closer, getting a better look. Rufus nodded to Jo, reminding her to mentally prepare herself. She’d done her fair share of exorcisms, so this was nothing new. But this was Sam.

“Nuh-uh. No way you’re getting out of those. Did you up myself.” Rufus said. “You’re stuck right where I want you, you evil son of a bitch.” He kept his voice calm, not able to stare at anything but the black coating Sam’s eyes.

Jo flinched as she watched Sam be backhanded by Rufus. She didn’t understand why that was necessary. It was taking everything in her not to run to his rescue and slice open the ropes. Instead she splashed him with holy water.

It had no effect on him. Jo’s breath caught in her throat. How could this be? A demon immune to holy water, able to ignore anti-possession symbols to possess a body? It didn’t add up. Still, she continued as Rufus instructed her. Rufus grabbed hold of Sam’s jaw and tilted his head back as Jo switched out her jug of holy water for a container of salt.

“No, wait, wait, wait!” Sam’s voice rose with every word.

Jo handed the salt to Rufus and grabbed hold of Sam’s head from the back, trying to look anywhere but those deep, black eyes.

“Just, just wait.” Sam continued to plead.

Rufus poured the salt down his throat. Jo’s own mouth went dry as she closed her eyes and held tighter around Sam’s face.

Rufus began to exercise the demon. Nothing happened. “Exorcisamus te, exorcisamus te, omnis satanica—“

“Stop! Please!” Sam shouted through Rufus’ words.

Finally, Rufus stopped. Jo slowly opened her eyes. The exorcism wasn’t working. Why wasn’t it working?

Sam took a deep breath, struggling to breathe against the loads of salt coating his tongue. “Look, something’s not right! Do you see that?” Jo splashed him with the water one last time to be sure. She and Rufus shared a look. “Come on! Stop. Listen to me!” Sam continued to shout.

Jo let Rufus lead her to the corner of the room. “Why isn’t it working?” She asked, exasperated. She’d seen demons pull off a lot of crazy shit, but never this.

“I don’t know.” Rufus replied with a headshake.

“Look, listen to me.” Sam interrupted, and they both turned. “Something’s not right! You can see that. Please, just listen to me.”

Jo held onto his words. This could be the demon talking. Confusing them. She was confused enough as it was. Maybe there was no demon at all, just Sam. But then why the black eyes?

……….

The two of them were taking a breather when they heard screaming coming from Sam’s room. Only the scream wasn’t Sam’s. They found Roger in there, one of the locals. On the floor and bleeding from the head. He claimed Sam did it to him. But how could he? He was under a devil’s trap. Rufus seemed to let it slide, but it was eating at Jo. Just another thing to add to the list of nonsense involved in this case.

Now they were in the next room again. Jo held two bombs in her hands as she watched Rufus tie another bomb’s wire around the latch on the window. “Hey, Rufus.”

“Yeah?”

“Pipe bombs won’t kill a demon.”

“Right. But in my experience, demons come at you slower if they’re in a body with no limbs.” Rufus replied as he closed the curtains to conceal the bomb.

“One of them is in my mother.” Jo said with a raised voice. Her mom was everything to her. How could Rufus stand by and watch as Ellen got blown limb from limb? “Probably Dean too.” Jo added, trying to show less concern for him than she felt.

Rufus turned to her and took one of her hands in both of his. “Jo, listen to me. You know I’m gonna do everything I can. You’re mom’s gonna be okay. Dean too.”

Jo slipped her hand out of his. She clenched her jaw. “Unless one of them comes through that window.” Jo tried to keep her voice steady, but suddenly the image of either of them coming through there brought tears to her eyes. She pushed them back, along with her feelings, and handed Rufus the next bomb.

How could they live with themselves? If something happened to her mom…. or Dean. She wouldn’t be able to. She’d never get the image out of her head.

Jo swallowed hard and grabbed her shotgun. Seconds later they heard an explosion. Jo slammed herself against the wall and peered around it. After sharing a look, Jo covered the hallway as Rufus went to check the window that they didn’t yet have a bomb set on. Arms came through, and in a spit second Rufus was gone, out of sight. Jo yelled his name, not knowing what else to do. Suddenly she was slammed against the wall, pinned by a pair of strong arms. Her mother’s.

Jo struggled and dropped her gun to the floor. Unable to look anywhere else, she stared into the black eyes where her mother’s brown ones should be. “Now you listen to me Joanna Beth Harvelle.” Her mother said as Jo continued to struggle against her. “You listening?” Ellen continued. “I am not a demon. No one here is a demon. Think about it Jo, think about the omens.” Jo loosened her grip on her mother, listening to her every word. “Remember in the bible? When we used to read it together? Jo, the polluted water, the shooting star, the red Mustang.”

Polluted water. Shooting Star. Red Mustang. No, red Horse. Then the two of them said it together. “The Horseman.”

“That’s right.” Ellen says firmly. “The Horseman, War.”

Jo lets her arms fall to her sides as Ellen steps back. “War.” Jo repeats softly.

“There are no demons. He turned us all against one another.”

Jo nods, her mind turning to the sounds of Rufus fighting with who she assumes is Dean. Just as she prepares to run for them, they burst inside. Ellen pulls her shotgun on them.

“Woah, woah!” Dean says, and Jo openly stares at him. Almost in awe, almost in hatred. She made a mental note to decide which later.

“We all on the same page?” Ellen asked as she lowered her weapon.

Both of the men nod. Jo doesn’t move. Dean finally notices her. “Hi, Jo.” He says flatly.

“Hey.” Jo replied, almost annoyed at his lack of enthusiasm. She didn’t notice how long Dean’s eyes lingered on her, though Ellen and Rufus were fully aware.

Rufus cleared his throat.

“Okay,” Dean started, “We’ve got to find War before everyone in this town starts killing each – “ Gunfire. And lots of it. The four of them threw themselves towards the ground and away from the windows. Out of instinct Dean sheltered Jo with his arms, glad that he did as shards of glass fell onto his arms and back. He forced her further from the windows as Rufus and Ellen moved the same way. After she helped him to his feet he got his thoughts straight again. “Where’s Sam?” He asked no one in particular.

“Upstairs!” Rufus yelled, and Dean bounded around the corner and up the steps.

Taking her shotgun back from her mother, Jo cocked it and readied herself for the fight. The people outside, the people firing, were just that. People. The realization hit Jo so fast that she lost her breath. She killed two of them today. Two innocent people.

She pushed the thought to the back of her mind and ran outside.

………

After lots of gunfire and yelling at people to stop shooting, Jo was sitting in the passenger seat of her mother’s car with the door open and the breeze rushing over her. After all this time hunting the supernatural, Jo had almost forgotten how monstrous people could be. Especially when they’re afraid. She’d almost lost her mom today. She watched out the window as Rufus and her mom chatted. Who knows what about. Something dangerous.

Sam and Dean had chased War down and chopped off his ring, which was somehow the source of his power. Jo didn’t really care at the moment, she just cared that it was over.

She tried to avert her eyes as she noticed Dean walking over to her. Sam just caught a ride with someone out of town. Something serious was going on between the Winchester brothers, and Jo was curious. She missed so much these past few years. Not like it was her fault. If it was up to her she would’ve been hunting with them all along. They made her feel safe.

“Hi, Jo.” Dean said, same as earlier.

“Hey.” Jo replied as she pretended to fiddle with her knife.

Dean waited a beat. “You alright? Did you get hurt?” Dean asked, showing more concern than he had originally meant to. Jo didn’t mind. She liked it.

“I’m okay. Where’d Sam go off to?”

“Who knows.” Dean replied quickly, obviously not wanting to talk about it. A smirk crossed his face. “What do you say we do some catching up?”

Jo swung her legs around to the outside of the car so she was facing him. “Sure, why not.” She pretended to be uninterested. It was all awkward. How could it not be? With how they said goodbye last time? With the broken promises?

“Maybe I should clear it with your mom first.” Dean joked at an attempt to lighten the mood.

“I’d say that’s a good idea.” Jo replied, allowing herself a smile.

She watched as Dean staggered off unsurely towards Ellen and Rufus. He looked so much like a kid, trying not to interrupt their conversation. Jo giggled, but mostly at his stupidity. Then it hit her. Did Dean Winchester just ask her on a date?

Shit. He did. And she accepted. Maybe she was the stupid one.


	2. Somebody That I Used To Know

"So, Dean Winchester. What have you been up to these past few years?" Jo knew full well what Dean had been up to. She pieced most of it together from the stories Bobby and Rufus told her. She was just curious how much Dean would share.

Dean gave her a smile, exposing his white teeth before taking a sip of his beer. "Oh, you know. The usual." He replied, pushing her question to the side. "The real question is, what have you been up to, Harvelle?"

"Hunting." Jo replied without a thought.

Dean chuckled. "I see that." They sat in silence until Dean cleared his throat. "Is that really all I get?"

Jo cocked her head. "You didn't exactly give me a lot of information either." She pointed out.

"Suppose not." After another moment of silence Jo laughed. "What?" Dean asked.

Jo shook her head. "It's just funny how time changes things so much." She looked Dean over. "You've obviously changed quite a lot."

Dean snorted. "I haven't changed. I'm still the same old me. You're the one whose changed."

Jo took a sip of her own beer. "I won't deny it."

"You've grown up." Dean smiled at her. "In all the right places." He added as he looked her up and down.

Jo rolled her eyes at him. "Maybe you are right, you haven't changed a bit."

"Told you." Dean replied flirtatiously. "Really though. Something’s changed with you, Jo. What's it been like, hunting? Is it as great as you always thought?"

Jo shrugged her shoulders. "It makes me feel good, helping people. I can't picture myself doing anything else."

"Don't you want to settle down, have a family?"

Jo looked him in the eyes. "Haven't given it much thought." She took another swig of her beer.

"Well you should."

Jo held his gaze. She couldn't figure him out. He was always telling her to do the exact opposite of what she was. As if he could control her. And what was the deal with this date? If that's what it even was. They were both obviously attracted to eachother, so why couldn't it be considered a date? But why would he ask her out to tell her that he was wrong for her? Which is basically what he was doing. After all these years, he never stopped trying to protect her. But she could protect herself.

"What about you? You ever thought about it?"

"I mean, I've thought about it. Not really for me though." Dean smiled. "I'd have to find the right girl I guess." Dean gave her a suggestive look, and Jo tried not to laugh uncomfortably.

A silence settled over them as Dean ordered them two more beers. Jo thought about it some more. What was Dean implying? That he could see himself with Jo? It couldn't be that. Sure, he'd shown interest in her. But Dean had a type. A type where he picked up whatever woman he could and took her home. Jo wasn't that type of girl. Therefore, she wasn't Dean's type. Though he was clearly hers. Her mom night choke if she heard her say that.

"I couldn't help but notice, you and Sam aren't on the best of terms." Jo finally spoke up. "Why is that?"

Dean cocked his head. "Long story." He shook his head. "Guess he just decided it would be better if he took a break from hunting for awhile."

Jo thought on that. "He wants out."

"He doesn't know what he wants." Dean replied quickly. "Besides, its not possible for him to get out. He tried it before. Didn't work out."

Jo nodded, remembering when Sam had shared with her about his girlfriend Jessica that was killed in the same way as his mother.

"But you, you still might have a chance." Dean added. "To drop this life forever."

"How many times do I have to tell you that wont be happening?"

"However many it takes until you stop saying it and change your mind."

Jo clenched her jaw. "Is this why you brought me here? To try and convince me to do something else?"

"Partially." Dean shot back as he checked her out again.

Jo ignored it and crossed her arms on the counter. "Well you're wasting your time. My mom's been working that angle for years. It's not happening."

Dean nodded his head, thinking it over. "Well in that case, how'd you like to join me?"

Jo raised her eyebrows at him.

"I'm serious! I'd rather you don't hunt alone, and I know you'd like to get away from Ellen for awhile."

Jo shrugged her shoulders. "Oh, you're gonna go that route?" A smile crossed her lips. "Come on, Dean. How hard is it to ask for my help?" Jo knew he didn't like to be alone. No matter how much he tried to hide it, he was afraid to hunt without his brother. And she was the next best thing.

Dean laughed. "Fine, fine."

"Come again?" Jo teased him. "I'm a professional now, you're going to have to ask properly." She knew that would make him laugh, and it did.

Dean turned to face her. He thought about taking one of her hands in his for effect, but he decided against it. "Joanna Harvelle -"

"Oh, please!" Jo laughed.

"Come on, I'm doin' this." Dean couldn't help but chuckle too. "Jo, would you do me the pleasure of coverin' my ass on my next suicide mission?"

"Nice touch." Jo pretended to be impressed. "Sure."

Dean played wounded. "All that, and I get a 'sure'?"

"Maybe you would've gotten more if you sent a formal request."

"Hmm, maybe a letter would've been a nice touch."

Before they knew it they were both cracking up. Dean paid their tab and led Jo outside. He tried not to get worked up over the guys checking her out; he'd probably be doing the same if he were in their position. In any other situation he'd probably try to bring her back to the hotel with him, it was the perfect opportunity with Sam gone. But this was Jo. She was different. Plus Ellen was intimidating as hell.

And he had a feeling Jo wouldn't agree to it. Sure, she was flirty with him, but she couldn't really like him. Right? Who knows? Dean never could figure out women. Plus she was way too good for him. It would never make sense.

After letting her into the passenger seat of the impala, Dean drove her back to where she was staying with Ellen. He hadn't realized how late it was, it was past midnight. They were both used to late nights.

"So." Jo said after he walked her inside to the lobby. They were alone.

"That was fun." Dean said, and then laughed.

"What?"

"Nothing, I just can't remember the last time I said that when it wasn't about chopping off a vamp's head or somethin'."

It was Jo's turn to laugh. "It was fun." She smiled at him.

Dean always saw women in bars giving him a smile, but Jo's was nothing like that. Hers was genuine. Before he could convince himself not to, he pulled her in for a hug. Jo was surprised at first, but she hugged him back. It lasted longer than any normal hug should have.

Jo pulled away first. She enjoyed their night, but she reminded herself to be careful. Dean Winchester wasn't someone she should be getting wrapped up in. He wasn't someone she could count on.

"I'll call you later." Dean told her.

Jo laughed uncomfortably. "Not the first time I’ve heard that from you." She replied softly, avoiding his eyes.

Hurt flashed across Dean's face. He couldn't believe she was still wounded over that. He'd had his reasons in not calling. Didn't mean he never thought about it. Of course he did, and he felt awful.

Dean looked her in the eyes and said something he didn't say often. "I promise."

This took Jo more by surprise than the hug. Dean Winchester was full of surprises tonight. She smiled slightly at him. "I'll hold you to that."

Dean nodded, no words were needed. Then he did something that surprised even himself. He leaned in and kissed her on the cheek. He left without another word and sat in his car for a good thirty minutes thinking about it. It felt weird. He'd never kissed anyone on the cheek before. Well, not since he was young with his mom.

Of course he'd never admit it, but he thought it was nice. It was a new feeling. Everything about Jo gave him a new feeling. And that scared the hell out of him.


	3. Thanks For Your Time

Dean kept his promise. Jo got a phonecall from him in the morning, which woke her up. Ellen had gone out to pick up breakfast. Jo knocked over the lamp on the table and cursed as she reached for her phone. Checking the time before picking it up, she rolled her eyes at herself. It was past nine. She should be sharper than that with half the morning gone.

“Hello?” She answered the phone quite groggily, having forgotten to clear her throat before.

She heard Dean’s deep chuckle. “Looks like those two beers from last night hit you hard.”

“Shut up.” Jo shot back as she pushed herself up into sitting position.

“But I’ve something to ask you.” Dean replied.

“Fine then. Spit it out.”

“Did you ask your mom yet? About running away with me?” Dean asked playfully.

“Very funny.” Jo said sarcastically, though she thought it actually was funny. “No, I didn’t ask her. Thought I’d give you the honor.”

“You’re gonna put this on me?”

Jo giggled silently. “You’re the one who needs help.” She tried to keep her voice serious.

“I don’t need help.”

“Oh, you need lots of help.” Jo replied teasingly.

Dean chuckled. “I can’t argue with you there.”

After a moment of silence Jo spoke up. “So what do you need help with anyways?”

“Caught wind of a vampire’s nest a few towns over. Figured it’d be smart to have backup.”

“And Sam’s gone.” Jo said, once again trying to get more out of Dean about it.

“Right.” Dean said nothing else on the matter. “So you in?”

“Definitely.”

“I’ll talk to Ellen.”

Jo laughed. “Dean, don’t worry about it. I’m twenty-four years old. I don’t have to ask her for permission.”

……….

Dean did ask Ellen for permission. And surprisingly, she said yes. After explaining to him in great detail all of the thirty two ways she knew how to kill a man. She said she wanted daily updates, and told Dean exactly what she would do to him if he didn't rent separate hotel rooms for him and Jo. Dean and Jo's faces were both red but Ellen didn't care one bit.

After he picked Jo up Dean was silent for the first couple hours of driving. As if things weren't uncomfortable enough between them, Ellen's not so subtle threats made everything that much worse. Jo was seriously beginning to regret her descision on joining Dean when he spoke up. His choice of topic caught her off guard.

"So what all do you know about what has happened involving Sam and I the past few years?"

Jo's eyes widened. "I... um. You'll have to be more specific." She gulped, given that she knew almost everything. Or so she thought.

Dean shook his head. "I want to know." He looked over at her from the driver's seat. "You keep giving me this look like you pity me... or hate me, or something. There has to be a reason. I want to know."

"I don't hate you." Jo replied quickly. She cleared her throat. "Even though I know." She added, more quietly.

"Know what?" Dean asked. Jo looked out the window and avoided his question. "Jo." Dean insisted. "Know what?"

Jo clenched her eyes shut. She didn't want to talk about this. This was the one topic she wanted to avoid. She figured Dean would too. So why did he insist on talking about it? Especially this soon.

"I know that you started the apocalypse." She blurted out. "You and Sam." She waited for Dean's response. "I don't know how though."

"It's not important." Dean spit out. There was something in his tone, almost anger.

Jo laughed in a way that said she was upset. "You're the one who brought this up."

"Yeah." Dean replied blankly.

"So, why? Why do you insist on picking a fight with me?" Jo asked defensively.

"This isn't a fight."

"Then what the hell is it?"

Dean shrugged.

"Look, if you think it changes anything between us, you can stop worrying about it." Jo said, and Dean met her eyes. "It's okay."

"How is it okay?" Dean shouted.

Jo was startled, and confused. "Dean, you're scaring me."

Dean pulled over the car. "I'm under a lot of stress."

"Yeah, okay but.... -"

"I don't even know what's happening anymore, Jo." Dean had real hurt in his eyes. "Everything's falling apart. And it's my fault. And I've lost so much time from making stupid decisions, and.... and I'm sorry." Dean didn't know what it was about Jo that made him spill his guts. He was never like this. Jo coming back into his life made him realize how bad he had really screwed up the past few years. "Now I'm acting like a goddamn woman. Forget it." Dean finished spitefully. He grabbed the wheel with his shaky hands and started to turn onto the road again.

Jo stopped him by putting one of her hands on one of his. He met her eyes with surprise and she smiled slightly at him. She had no clue how to deal with this. She wasn't used to stuff like this. She had a feeling he wasn't either. "You need to know that I forgive you. For everything. Even the things I don't know." Dean started to object but she cut him off. "I mean it. None of it matters. Cause in the end, we're on the same side. Right?"

Dean thought about it. Of course they were. He just didn't understand how she could forgive him so easily. Especially for the personal stuff, like cutting her out of his life. "Yeah." He croaked out, trying to get his bearings again.

Jo leaned back into her seat. "Okay. So, do you need to borrow a tampon?"

Dean whipped his head towards her. Jo giggled silently. Dean gave her a look of disbelief and she gripped his shoulder and shook it. Then she settled back into her seat. Dean smiled, almost bashfully. Sam would be so disapointed that he missed Dean talking about his "feelings". Dean promised himself it wouldn't happen again any time soon.

They both thought about how it would be far too easy to become used to having each other around.

..........

Over the next few days Dean didn't talk about mushy stuff at all. Jo didn't push him to. They never talked about the cheek kiss either. They kept Ellen updated, keeping to their promise of daily phonecalls. Dean didn't talk to Sam once. They drove a few States over, staying in seperate hotel rooms, though Dean often thought of ditching that idea. But his conscience told him that Ellen would immediately know if he tried anything.

That didn't stop him. He didn't hesitate to stare at Jo's ass every time she walked away, brush up against her as they hunted, scoot closer to her on the bed in the hotel room as they watched bad TV. Every time he felt more guilty though. Him and Jo could never happen. He told himself that after Sam had his mind right again, Jo would be gone for good. This was only temporary. The only thing he would bring her was bad fortune. It would be better that way. She didn't know how big this whole thing really was.

Jo disagreed. She hadn't enjoyed hunting this much in years. Well... since that first hunt with Sam and Dean. She was proud of the fact that she could do fine on her own, protect herself. But hunting with Dean was something special. She wished Sam were with them.

She started to redefine her thoughts on how hunting alone was better. Hunting with her mom was what dragged her down. She loved her, but she wasn't the easiest person to get along with. Any time Jo would get one little scratch, Ellen would throw a fit. Dean was similar to her in that way.

"Dean, I'm telling you. I'm fine." Jo groaned, wincing as Dean grabbed onto her.

"Sure. That's why your entire sleeve is completely soaked in blood." Dean tightened his grip around Jo's waist.

Jo huffed. "Most of it isn't even mine." She tried to pull away from Dean but he held her close.

"Don't even think about it."

Jo sighed loudly at him. "Come on Dean, it's not even that deep." She finally pulled from his grasp, letting out a cry of pain when her injured arm tore from his fingers.

"Damn it, Jo. Would you just hold still?" Dean grabbed only her other arm this time in case she tried to escape again.

Jo rolled her eyes but let Dean have his moment as he lead her towards the impala and opened her door. She stuffed herself in grumpily and slammed the door in his face.

They rode in silence for less than a minute before Dean started in. "What exactly did you think was going to happen when you went after three vampires at once?"

"Are we really gonna do this right now?" Jo asked irritably.

"I just don't understand why you have to be so reckless!"

"Why I have to be so reckless? You ran in there practically unarmed!"

"I'm not the one who got hurt!" Dean shouted back. "You're lucky that vamp was a newbie and attacked with a knife instead of her fangs."

"No you're lucky. You're the one who'd have to explain it to my mother." Jo snorted at her joke but Dean didn't find it funny.

Dean abrasively pulled his car into a spot at a hotel and swung open the door. Jo let herself out but was soon manhandled by Dean again, who insisted on walking her across the parking lot. "You know my legs work just fine."

Dean pushed open the door and threw his car keys on the table. "Just sit down." Jo made a sound of disgust at the fact that Dean basically shoved her into the chair. She knew he was trying to help, but it was irritating none the less. "Take off your shirt." Dean said as he opened his makeshift first aid kit.

"At least take me out to dinner first." Jo teased him as he walked into the bathroom to wet a rag.

"Funny." Dean replied sarcastically as his hands ran under the water.

Jo winced as the long sleeve pulled across her wound. She threw her shirt on the table and sat in her tank top, thankful that she actually wore one. She could do without Dean seeing her in her bra.

Dean kneeled down on the floor in front of her and grabbed her arm. "Damn it, Jo." He said when he saw how deep the knife had really gone.

Jo rolled her eyes. "I've had enough of the shaming, Dean. Yeah, I made a mistake. Now get over it and patch me up."

Dean touched the cloth to Jo's wound and she pulled away. "Well would you stop movin'?"

"It was cold." Jo said softly with a smile. She now willingly gave her arm over to Dean.

After he cleaned out the gash he gently bandaged it up. Jo watched intently the whole time. "Your mom is gonna murder me when she sees this."

Jo sucked on the lollipop Dean had found in the bottom of the med kit. "Guess it'll have to be our secret." She gave him a toothy smile. Then she made a face at the candy. "This tastes awful."

Dean chuckled now, finally feeling relief now that Jo wasn't bleeding everywhere. "Who knows how long it's been in there. Probably since Sam was a kid."

Jo tossed it in the trash as Dean walked across the room. "Speaking of Sam..." She said.

"No, no. That wasn't an opening for you to force me into resolving my family issues. Stay out of it." Dean went into the bathroom and washed the blood from the washcloth.

Jo decided to let him be. She'd caused him enough trouble tonight already.

Dean insisted on staying with her, so he slept in the chair in the corner. Jo would've let him share the bed but she knew it would only cause more tension, and Dean would feel guilty about it and eventually blurt something out about it to Ellen. So Jo climbed into her bed, with unneeded help from Dean, and drifted to sleep with the comfort of knowing someone cared about her and was watching over her.


	4. Guns Out

"God woman, are you ready yet?" Jo slung her duffle over her shoulder and leaned her hip against the doorpost.

Dean poked his head around corner out the bathroom door, his toothbrush and copious amounts of toothpaste hanging out of his mouth. "Just a second!" He shouted back, though it was barely understandable. He pulled his head back in and spit in the sink.

Jo rolled her eyes playfully. Dean couldn't see her, but he knew exactly what she was doing. She'd done it about a thousand times in the last few days. "You know, if you keep doing that so much your eyes are gonna roll back into your brain and get stuck there."

"Yeah and you'll be stuck here when I tire of waiting for you and take off in the impala." Jo swiped the car keys from the table before Dean could reach for them.

Dean shook his head slowly and puffed out his chest as he packed up his own things. "You better leave the driving to the professionals, Harvelle." Dean slid his bag onto the table and stepped only inches away from Jo's face. He stared firmly into her eyes, giving her a sly smile. Jo thought he was going to kiss her. Hell, he thought that a bit himself. Instead he plucked the keys from her hand. He stayed there a few more seconds, battling with Jo for dominance. She wasn't giving up either. So he stepped even closer. Jo backed up against the table, eyeing the lips that were only mere centimeters away. Suddenly Dean reached behind her, and slid his pistol from the table. He let out a small chuckle as he slid it into the back of his pants, and left the room with his things.

Jo took a deep breath and tried to get her bearings. She cursed herself for allowing Dean to play with her like that. Then she smiled. Two could play at that game.

..........

If there was one thing Jo was good at, it was payback. By the end of the week Dean's head was spinning. Jo was confusing the hell out of him. It only took her a few hours to figure out what conflicted Dean the most. Taking orders from her.

Jo took the job into her own hands. She introduced the two of them to civies before Dean could, she went in first when they breached a room, and she even checked them into the hotel while Dean was buying a soda. Basically she did whatever the hell she wanted. The one thing she never did was drive his car without his permission. She knew he wouldn't forgive a thing like that. But she prayed for the day when he would willingly hand her the keys.

Dean however, prayed for the day when Jo would let up. First, he was curious to see how it would be having her in charge. She was a fine hunter, sure, but Dean couldn't get used to taking orders from her. Part of it also turned him on though. The bossy side of Jo. Who was he kidding? Every side of Jo turned him on. But he'd finally had enough.

Jo had decided to get mouthy with him. "Dean." She whined, being as bothersome as she possibly could be, from where she lie on the motel bed. Dean was sitting at the table cleaning his gun. "Be a doll and go pick us up some dinner." Jo didn't move her eyes from the tv as she spoke. She didn't even know what was on the screen while she stared at it. She was only using her peripherals to sense Dean's response. Dean let out an exasperated laugh. He lifted himself up and stood in front of the television. Jo didn't budge. "Chinese sounds good." She pushed.

"Enough!" Dean exclaimed, and Jo raised her eyebrows at him as if she had no clue why he was upset. "I'm done with your little... game, whatever you're playing here. Listen sweetheart, I take orders from just one person: me."

Jo chuckled. She stared Dean straight in the face. "It's a wonder you're still alive."

Now Dean couldn't stay serious. He wavered. Jo always picked up on his movie references, it was one of the reasons they got along so well. And regrettably, she had won. He didn't know how to fix it. "I'm going to get us dinner. But I'm going because I want to. And I will pick the food I want to eat, because I am in charge, dammit!" He charged out the door and left Jo giggling uncontrollably. He was such a child.

When he returned, Jo kept a straight face. She jumped off the bed and went over to the table where Dean brought the bag of food. He dumped out the contents and Jo smiled when she saw them.

Chinese. Victory was sweet.

..........

"Hmmm... what do you think about this fortune, Jo?" Dean spread the slip of paper from his fortune cookie across his palm and wore a sly smile across his face. "Flattery will go far tonight." He said bluntly. Jo stared a hole in his head. "Think it... you know, means anything?" Dean asked suggestively as he leaned his arms on the table near her.

Jo only rolled her eyes and leaned back in her chair. Dean was about to press the matter further when his phone started to ring. He grumbled something and slipped it from his pocket. "Cas?" He asked, after he pressed the phone to his ear.

"Yes, it's me." The angel replied.

"It's weird, talking to you on the phone." Dean countered. He looked over Jo as she picked at her nails with her knife. He was semi annoyed that Cas was calling now. He was finally getting somewhere with Jo, or so he thought.

"I didn't call to talk about that." Cas replied bluntly.

"Obviously." Dean mumbled.

"Where are you?" He interuppted.

Dean almost told him when he decided otherwise. "Why?" He said instead.

"I need your help with something." Cas stated. Dean's eyes found Jo once again, who just so happened to be picking something up off the floor, giving Dean a great view. "Dean. Dean, are you still there?" Cas asked frantically.

"Yeah." Dean dragged out the word, still preoccupied. He quickly averted his eyes when Jo stood back up. "Wha... what? Oh, yeah. Um, can it wait?" Dean said into the phone.

Cas didn't reply immediately, seemingly caught off guard buy Dean's sudden lack of interest in the apocalypse. "Technically yes, but I'd prefer to go now. Not like you have anything better to do."

Dean raised his eyebrows at Cas' comment, surprised by the sarcasm in it. They'd taught him well. "What's that supposed to mean? I do stuff. I'm... I'm with someone." Dean stuttered when Jo met his gaze. Up until now she'd been uninterested in his conversation.

"I assumed you were with Sam, yes." Cas replied boredly. He didn't understand why this phonecall needed to be so long.

Dean began to pace the room, and Jo watched his every move, waiting to hear what he'd say next. "No, not Sam. He's a.... taking a break for awhile. It's someone else." Dean coughed.

Castiel sighed. "I see." Cas had been around Dean long enough to know what that meant. He didn't understand the need for this kind of thing, but then again he didn't understand most human things. "I'll wait until morning then." Without another word he hung up the phone.

Dean stared into it and shook his head. He turned, almost crashing into Jo who was now standing right in front of him. He looked down at her. "Someone else, huh?" She teased. She was actually flattered that he thought he had a chance with her tonight, and would be so bold to tell it to Castiel.

She giggled, walking away as she did so. "Night." Jo said, pulling her room key from her pocket.

Dean shot forward and stood in front of the door. "Wait!" He said a little too desperately. Jo eyed him. "Um... don't you want to... watch a movie or somethin'? Cas needs me tomorrow, so this is our last night together.... uh... maybe for awhile." Dean's voice grew silent, and his eyes grew wide. Jo wanted to say yes. But she knew if she did, she'd be setting herself up to say yes to anything else Dean asked her to do tonight. And she couldn't let that happen.

She shoved down the words she really wanted to say and came up with an excuse. "You're going to need to be rested up then, sounds like Cas needs your help for something big." She paused. "Not like we won't ever see eachother again, right?" Jo smiled slightly.

"Course not!" Dean replied eagerly. "You could come with us, if you wanted." He scratched awkwardly at the back of his neck. 

Jo's smile faded. She felt terrible for turning him down, after the sweet way he was behaving now. But she stood firm. "Better not. I got a text from mom saying she thinks she found something she needs my help with. I was just about to tell you when.... well, you know." She finished.

"Right." Dean sighed, and his shoulders dropped. He forced himself to perk back up. "Well, see you in the morning. We can find you a car and all that."

Jo nodded as Dean stepped out of her path. She forced herself through the door without catching another glimpse of his sad face.

Dean watched her go, and hated it. He'd just gotten her back, and he'd gotten used to having her around. He would make sure to meet up with her again when he was done helping Cas. He wasn't going to make the mistake of letting her go again.


	5. What Will Become Of Us

Jo slung her duffle in the sedan Dean found for her and closed the trunk, leaning against it as he walked over to her.

"So, guess this is goodbye. For awhile at least." Dean said awkwardly.

Jo crossed her arms. This felt all too familiar, only she felt she was the one leaving him. But she was leaving it up to him to decide how permanent it would be this time. "Don't be a stranger, okay, Dean." Jo paused. "I can help, you know."

Dean shrugged. "We can handle it. I don't want you mixed up in all this, Jo." He replied. He wanted to be around Jo, hell he even wanted to be around Ellen, because it was nice having backup. But he wouldn't drag them into something as big as the apocalypse.

"Well I already am." Jo replied shortly. She was so over him trying to push her into doing something else. This was what she wanted.

"I'm just saying, maybe you should take a step back for awhile."

Jo stepped closer to him and stared up at him. "Hell no. I'm a part of this now." She gave him a hard look. "So next time you feel like you need your ass saved, call me first. I'll answer." Jo added sincerely, giving him a playful slap on the shoulder. Dean chuckled and shrugged her comment off. "I mean it." Jo continued, letting her palm curl around his firm arm. "Promise me." Those words caught Dean's attention. He stared into Jo's eyes. "Promise me we won't repeat the past. We can help." Jo finished, referring to herself and her mother. Dean said nothing. Jo's face softened. She grabbed Dean's hand in hers. It seemed weird to both of them, first the cheek kiss and now hand holding. Showing affection was strange to the two of them. But Jo squeezed his hand. "Promise me." She repeated one last time.

Dean looked back at her, thought about the way his hand felt in hers, and thought about the time when he was in charge of looking after her and she'd been taken. He remembered the stories they told each other about their dads, and the time she patched him up after he was shot. He didn't want her to go away. So if she was gonna hunt, maybe she should be with him. So he could protect her. So they could protect each other. His words came out before he could stop himself. "I promise." He cursed himself in his head, reminding himself to never make promises he couldn't keep.

Guess he'd just have to keep this one.

Jo pulled her hand from his and walked around to climb into her seat. Dean closed her car door for her and Jo left the window rolled down. "Um.... hey, Dean?"

Dean crossed his arms over the opening. "Yeah?"

"Call Sam." Jo pleaded. Dean began to shake his head and laugh it off. "I mean it. I don't care what he says, he needs to be a part of this." Dean still didn't reply. "And I don't care what you say, but you need him. Just call him." Jo said one more time before turning the key to start the car. She knew Dean wouldn't respond to her, he was in deep thought now after her proposition. "Bye." She forced out, the feeling in her stomach all too familiar.

"Bye." Dean echoed, watching her drive away. He crossed his arms and sighed, trying to work up the energy to call Cas. He fiddled with his keys and stared at the impala, debating on speeding after Jo and begging her not to leave. But Dean Winchester didn't beg. No, what he did was let people he loved walk right out of his life. In fact, he pushed them out, far away. He knew it was going to take a lot in him to admit he needed someone. Let alone Jo. He used to doubt her so much, didn't believe in her. Now he didn't know how to hunt without her, knowing she was out there fighting monsters without him at her side. And he was alone, without her or Sam to have his back. So he would ask Jo. But he would ask her right.

He would ask her for help; something Dean Winchester certainly did not do often.

..........

 

"This had better be important, Cas."

"Why would something unimportant be of any concern to me?" Cas replied confusedly.

Dean gave him an annoyed look, already in a bad mood without having to deal with Castiel's lack of understanding. "Just get to it." He leaned against the trunk of the impala. "What do we got? Any luck on finding God?"

"No. Someone else. Someone I need your help finding, and stopping." The angel took steps towards Dean as he spoke.

"Who?"

Cas became more serious. "The archangel who killed me. Raphael."

Dean blew air from his nose. "You were wasted by a teenage mutant ninja angel?" Cas showed an expression of confusion, and the joke about his death obviously irked him. Dean cleared his throat. "So, what. You going for a little revenge action here?"

Castiel's face hardened. "No. Information. I believe Raphael can lead us to God."

Dean raised his eyebrows in annoyance. "What, so we just find Raphael, ask where daddy's hiding and then go out for some icecream?"

"We'll force him to talk through interrogation."

"You can't be serious." Dean replied slowly.

Cas sighed loudly. "I'm not sure if you're aware of this yet, Dean, but I'm not the 'joking' type, and this is a threat to be taken seriously." Cas retorted.

Dean pushed off of the impala and dug his boots into the gravel. "No, I get that. Archangel: Deadly. Not to mention he's also a ninja turtle." Cas stared Dean down, growing tired of his jokes. Dean ignored his glare and continued. "Which is exactly why this is insane. We can't take on something that big. He already wasted you once. And I'd prefer to keep my meat uncooked." Dean paused, and idea crossing his mind. "Actually, why don't we go get us a couple of steaks instead?"

Cas stepped closer and interrupted. "You're the Michael sword. No angel would dare harm you."

Dean's eyebrows rose once again. "So I'm your bullet shield. Well, if you would have said so." Dean shot back sarcastically. Every time him and Cas grew closer friends, he gave him a new reason to not trust him.

Cas waited a beat before replying. "I need your help because you are the only one who will help me." He stared at Dean intensely, feeling desperate. Dean knew it was true. Cas didn't have friends outside of him and Sam.

Dean considered it. Moments ago he'd made a promise to himself to not let go of Jo again, and apologize to Sam. If he got himself killed that was pretty much a guarantee that he'd be breaking those promises. But a friend needed his help. And he understood what having an absent father was like and wanting answers. "Fine. But you better be sure about this 'hands off the vessel thing'."

Dean spent the next few hours with Cas, attempting to work the case. Cas had a lead on a deputy who'd laid eyes on Raphael, and Cas' plan had been to confront him about it by telling him he'd witnessed an Archangel. Dean furiously put a stop to that, giving his best attempt to making Cas a real hunter. He gave him his FBI badge and they met with the man. The entire conversation consisted of Dean shushing Cas whenever he would mention angels and demons, feeling lucky that the deputy was hard of hearing. He explained to them the whole thing; an explosion at the gas station that completely leveled everything. Everything except the man who remained in it's radius, virtually unharmed. Dean asked the deputy if he vanished, earning him a strange look, who told him the man was taken to a hospital.

One lead pointed to the next, and the two of them discovered that Raphael was seemingly no longer in the vessel. Cas knew of a ritual to summon him to the area, so they found an abandoned house and set up. Dean stared at his phone for about the twelfth time that day, scrolling back and forth between Sam and Jo's numbers. Cas had noticed him doing so throughout the day, but said nothing, for he didn't know where to begin.

They sat in silence after Cas explained the ritual could not be performed until sunrise, until finally Dean dragged him out the door for some last night on earth fun. After being embarrassed over the fact that he was still a virgin, Dean brought Cas to a place two men like them needed at the moment. A place Cas referred to as "a den of inequity". Dean had figured the perfect way to get everything off his mind (and by everything, he meant Jo), was to find himself some woman that he could pay promptly and never have to remember her face again. Instead he sat there with Cas, both a couple of stiffs, unable to look any women in the eyes.

"Is this what you usually do at these sort of places?" Cas asked from across the table. Dean looked up from his phone, which had Jo's number sprawled across the screen. He turned it off and shook his head.

"Not really." Dean replied, and Cas eyed him. "Guess I'm not really feelin' it tonight."

..........

Miles away, Jo was pulling into a bar in Oklahoma. After showing up at Bobby's where her mom was staying, she'd half expected to see Sam. But he wasn't there. She was disappointed, but she knew he really couldn't be out of the life forever. They needed him. Dean needed him. And she was never good at keeping her nose out of other people's business.

She closed the door to the car and took the steps to the front entrance. She knew they would be closed, considering it was almost two a.m. But she'd done some digging herself and discovered that Sam (under the alias "Keith") was closing tonight, so he should still be around. She wouldn't know where to look otherwise.

As her hand reached for the door handle, she heard a loud crash. Trouble. Jo grabbed the handle, turning it open and roaring through the door. The scene she saw in front of her was confusing, though it didn't stop her from springing into action. She saw Sam, held by two men; hunters she knew. She had to have seen them at the roadhouse before. Too distracted to remember their names, she pulled her gun the back of her pants and aimed at one of them, the taller one. Jo noticed another figure behind them, handcuffed to the bar. A blonde woman, eyes wide in fear.

"What's this?" One of the men asked. Jo searched her mind for his name. Tim. Making the other one Reggie. Tim was moderately short, with a scruffy beard just like he'd had all those years ago when he'd asked Jo to come home with him one night, only to find out she wasn't even twenty yet. Jo remembered how he looked with two big shiners on his face; one from her and one from her mother. Reggie had dark skin, a somewhat more tolerable personality than Tim, and virtually no mind of his own.

"Sam," Jo spoke steadily, "What the hell is going on?"

Sam gave her a 'what are you doing here' look, but didn't say anything, because Tim did. "Why don't you put down the gun, sweetheart."

Jo saw red. Everyone was always calling her that. Men so drunk they wouldn't remember in the morning having saying it to her spitefully when she refused to serve them any longer. Hunters, all throughout her roadhouse working days. Demons, shifters, the whole lot of them. That seemed to be the term. Even Dean called her that, but that was different.

"Why don't you let him go." Jo replied, her hands slightly shaking. She'd never shot a man before, a man that wasn't possessed or worse, that is. She didn't want to find out what it felt like.

"Jo." Sam spoke, only to have Reggie and Tim both tighten their grip on him.

Recognition flashed across Tim's face. "Wait a second." He looked Jo up and down, which lit her mind on fire, but she figured at least his grip was slightly loosening on Sam. Jo didn't move her gun. "You see who it is, Reggie?"

His friend stared blankly at her. Then it hit him. "Joanna Harvelle." He asked, though it was more of a statement, a conformation. Nobody moved. "You grew up."

"In all the right places." Tim added suggestively. Sam began to struggle against them. Only now Jo noticed what was in Tim's free hand. A vial of some sort, filled with something red. She swallowed hard, the pieces starting to fall together. What she didn't understand was why Reggie and Tim would want Sam drinking demon blood again.

"Why don't both of you shut up, and let Sam go." Jo replied curtly, desperately hoping Sam hadn't drank any of the blood yet. She cocked her pistol and flicked off the safety, trying her best to remain convincingly menacing.

Reggie and Walt shared a look. "She grew up all right." Reggie said sneeringly. After sharing another look the two of them released their grip, hanging their hands in the air as they moved towards the exit.

Jo kept her gun on them the entire time. "Don't come back. We won't be here." She threatened, locking the door after she made sure they drove away.

She slid her gun back into place and turned to see Sam untying the woman. He was being gentle, but as soon as she was freed from her ties, she walked promptly across the room. Jo unlocked the door to allow her out before walking over to Sam. She grabbed his chin in her hand, assessing the damage from the multiple blows he seemed to have received before she'd shown up. Knowing Sam, he'd be just fine.

"We'd better get going, you can explain in the car." Jo said, already on her way out.

Unlike Dean would have, Sam listened to her. He followed her and took shotgun in her rental as he massaged a sore patch on his neck.

After a few miles of silence Jo looked at him. "Sam." She started.

"I know." He interrupted, already knowing what she was going to say. "I just thought, maybe, I could get out. I thought it would be better for everyone."

Jo sighed and took in the look of the sunrise drawn across the windshield. "Nobody ever gets out."


	6. Coming Back

"So where's Dean anyway?" Sam asked, wincing as Jo pushed an icepack against his jaw.

He held in it place as Jo slid into the other side of the booth. They were in a 24-hour diner, because Jo had been on the road for hours and was starving. She hadn't stopped once after leaving Bobby's, which she was glad for, considering she'd arrived just in time to save Sam's ass. Which he'd thanked her for twice already.

"He's with Cas. Said he needed help with something." Jo replied blankly.

Sam leaned his elbows on the table and turned his icepack over. "Something happen between you two?" He asked, hoping if anything, it was something good. He could see Jo acting distant after an affectionate moment with Dean. They'd both behave that way. Sam always thought the blonde would be good for his brother.

Jo just shook her head. "Not really." She paused, debating whether she should bother Sam with her issues with his older brother. _Well, she had to tell someone._ And considering Sam knew Dean better than anyone, he was a great choice. "He's just so frustrating." 

A smirk covered Sam's lips, which were still bleeding slightly. He felt like crap. But thinking about his brother made him feel less so. As rough as things were between them, he'd admit he missed his brother a whole lot. "Believe me, I know." He replied to Jo.

"I kept getting on him to call you." She paused, looking Sam straight in the eyes. "Douchebag wouldn't listen. So here I am." Jo cocked her head and leaned back into the cushiony booth seat.

Sam chuckled, pulling the ice from his face momentarily. "What are you, our therapist?"

Jo crossed her arms and stared him down. "If I need to be."

Sam finally set the icepack on the table, and his smirk changed to a smile. "Don't bother." His smile dropped. "He's not going to change. You'll only get more pissed at him."

"And what about you? You're not innocent in this either!" Jo teased him, though she really meant it.

Sam threw his hands up in surrender. "Hey, I'd be all for talking it out and listening to his side of things." He took a deep breath, thinking through the last time he saw his brother, still less than a week ago. Certainly felt longer. "I left because he can't do that."

Jo nodded slowly. She gave Sam a serious look. "And how does that make you feel?"

They both laughed. Then Jo stopped, grew somber, and looked across the table at Sam. "I get he can be tough to deal with. I experienced that plenty of times the past few days. He just needs a little help. Even if he doesn't want to admit it."

..........

"You know it's okay for you to ask for my help."

Dean looked back at Cas. He shook his head quickly. "I don't need help." He turned back and Cas kept a watchful eye on him as Dean struggled to open the door to the house. They'd left their belongings there and hadn't wanted to leave it unlocked, but now Dean couldn't jimmy it open. "Son of a bitch!" He yelled, frustrated because this entire detour had been a bust. Cas stood by quietly and let him have his moment. After mumbling a few more profanities, Dean turned to the angel. "This was a complete waste of time. You said it would work!"

They'd gone to the hospital and done the ritual just like Cas had said, but nothing happened. Dean had stayed quiet about it until now. "It should have worked, Dean." Cas replied deeply, trying to remain patient. "I don't know what went wrong."

Dean nodded mockingly. "You don't know."

Cas took a step towards him and stared him down. "Just because you are upset about being away from your brother and girlfriend doesn't give you the right to act this way." Dean raised his eyebrows at Cas referring to Jo as his girlfriend, but Cas didn't give him time to object. "I'm sorry. Its my fault. But have some consideration here for the fact that I've wanted nothing more than to face my killer and find God. So yes, I'm upset as well. But I believe I am handling this more professionally. So do me a favor, and go cool down until you're done with your self-pitying" Cas finished spitefully, having not blinked the entire time.

Dean's mouth hung open as he searched for a reply, but the two of them heard a loud crash of thunder. It seemed to be coming from inside the building, which made no sense. They shared a look and Cas forced the door open, taking the lead through.

They were greeted by a room shining with blue, surrounding the same man they'd seen at the hospital. Only he was different.

"Raphael." Castiel said above the noise. The lightning was coming out of the archangel, imitating the shape of wings. Glass crashed throughout the room and rain began to fall in the broken roof.

Raphael stared Cas down menacingly, never taking his eyes off of him. "It is a testament to my unending mercy that I do not smite you here and now."

Cas flinched, so Dean stepped in for him. "Well maybe you're afraid God will bring Cas back to life again and smite you and your candy-ass skirt. By the way, hi, I'm Dean."

Raphael turned to acknowledge him. Dean's talk was big, but looking the archangel in the face made him jump out of his skin. But he held his stance. "I know who you are. And now, thanks to him, I know where you are." Raphael replied, sending a menacing smile Cas' way.

Castiel stepped in between them. "You won't kill him. You wouldn't dare." He clenched his fists.

"But I will take him to Michael."

Both angels stepped closer until Dean bravely stepped between them. "Enough of this, I don't got all night." Dean looked Raphael right in the eyes as he pushed Cas back. He pulled his lighter from his pocket, struck it, and dropped it to the floor. Raphael was immediately surrounding by a ring of holy fire.

"Looks like you fell into a burning ring of fire." Dean smiled, satisfied with himself. He smirked at Cas who didn't understand his joke. His smile dropped when Raphael glared at him with all his might. "Don't look at me, it was his idea." Dean pointed to Cas.

His friend ignored him and stepped forward. "Where is he?" Cas asked the archangel.

"God? Didn't you hear?" Raphael asked. "He's dead, Castiel. Dead."

"I don't believe it. If God is dead, why have I returned? Who brought me back?" Cas pushed, growing more irritated by the second. Dean watched and waited to have to step in again. One thing Castiel had in common with the Winchesters - his bad temper.

Raphael looked as if he may laugh, though he did not. "Did it ever occur to you that maybe Lucifer raised you?" Cas mumbled an almost inaudible disagreement. "Think about it. He needs all the rebellious angels he can find. You know it adds up." Raphael said slowly.

"Let's go. He'll give us nothing." Cas spoke to Dean, eyeing the archangel disrespectfully.

"Castiel, I'm warning you. Do not leave me here. I will find you." Raphael replied, his voice rising with each sentence in both volume and threat.

"Maybe one day. But today, you're my little bitch." Cas shot back, the rain now pouring over their heads. He left the room as Dean and Raphael watched.

Dean began to follow, but paused momentarily to say, "What he said!" above the sound of the storm.

Thirty minutes later the two of them were on the road in the impala - and had been silent for thirty minutes. Dean turned to Cas. "You okay?" He asked, thinking after how stupid a question that was. Especially when Castiel didn't answer. Dean turned his eyes back to the road but spoke again. "Look, I'll be the first to tell you that this little crusade of yours is nuts, but I do know a little something about missing fathers."

Cas turned his head slowly towards him. "What do you mean?"

"I mean every time I was looking for my dad when all logic said that he was dead, but I knew in my heart he was still alive. Who cares what some ninja turtle says, Cas, what do you believe?"

Cas' own eyes looked on the dark road in front of them now. "I believe he's out there."

"Good. Go find him." Dean said.

Cas thought about this for a moment. He would indeed. He turned his head back towards Dean. "What about you?"

Dean half-smiled to himself and stared out the rainy windshield. "I have a promise to keep."

..........

_two months later_

A smile immediately covered her lips as Jo opened Bobby's door to the see Dean standing there. The fact that her excitement was associated with him - in that moment he thought it was the sweetest thing he'd ever known.

Jo didn't hold back and pulled him into a hug. She smelled good like linen and pine needles, exactly like he liked it. It was just how he'd remembered from all those years ago. He couldn't believe how much he'd missed her only the past couple months - it felt like years. He'd been back with Sam now, per Jo's request, and she'd been with her mother. They had been talking, by phone, pretty much every few days. Dean always made the call, more often than he felt he should have. But he was keeping good on his promise. Even if Sam smiled devilishly over his shoulder and teased him the rest of the night.

Since he'd seen her last Dean had been sent to the future, fought a pagan god, met a child who was half human-half demon, been changed into an old man, gotten stuck inside tv land, and worst of all, went to a supernatural convention. It was safe to say he was exhausted.

Things had been rocky between him and Sam at first, as they'd always been. But Sam was coming around, taking control of his life and definitely being easier to get along with. Dean liked to think he was as well. They'd spent the past two months doing jobs, some minor and a couple major ones they almost didn't make it out of. Not if they didn't have each other.

Jo was right, and Dean knew it. He needed his brother. But he needed her too. He just didn't know how to say it. "You look good." He said instead.

It was dark in Bobby's house but Dean swore he saw Jo blush. She cleared her throat and started to respond, but her mother walked up behind her.

Dean instinctively straightened his shoulders, afraid she'd overheard him. But Ellen smiled warmly at him. She pulled him in for a hug as well. "How the hell are ya, Dean?"

"Good, I'm good." Dean replied.

Sam opened the door from behind him and squished his way into the entryway. He had both their duffel bags over his shoulder, and a big smile on his face. "Jo, Ellen." He said as he looked at them. After setting down the bags and embracing them both, they heard Bobby yelling from the other room.

"Well are you gonna come in or what?" He griped, and as they turned the corner they looked down on him in his wheelchair. The scowl across his face dissolved into a smile. "How are you boys?"

Sam bent down to hug him and Dean slapped him on the back. It'd been awhile since they'd seen Bobby, though Jo and Ellen had been staying with him on and off for weeks.

They'd been working random jobs too, mostly ones Bobby caught wind of. Jo had killed her first werewolf, along with a tulpa and a few demons. For the most part though, she'd been bored doing the same old thing with her mom. She listened to Dean tell his stories over the phone, and wished for that. She wished she could make a real difference like he did.

So she couldn't explain the feeling she'd felt when Bobby told her the brothers were coming because they needed their help with something huge. Getting the colt back. The colt Jo had never seen with her own eyes. He father had told her bedtime stories about it, how it could kill anything. And now she was about to be a part of retrieving it from the demon Crowley to help kill Lucifer himself.

"How long til we head out?" Jo asked, eager to get her hands on the colt. It was just getting dark, and she knew they'd have to go soon.

Sam looked at his watch. "Hour and a half?" He asked them, though it was more of a statement.

"Wanna help me with some of our other supplies, Jo?" Dean asked the blonde, feeling his heart speed up as he waited for a response from someone in the room.

Jo nodded eagerly. She followed him out the front door, literally able to feel her mother staring intensely at them the whole way.

Jo leaned her back against the car as she watched Dean unpack the trunk during an uncomfortable silence. Dean finally cleared his throat. "Sure you're up for this, Jo?" He didn't look up from the gun he was loading.

Jo stood back up straight with crossed arms. "You kidding me? I wouldn't miss this."

Dean shrugged. "The colt is a pretty big deal. And if all goes well....."

"The sooner we go after Lucifer." Jo interrupted.

Dean looked at her. "Do you realize how large of a task this is? Have you ever taken on anything this big?" Dean's voice was rising. "I haven't. And I've taken on a lot."

Jo interrupted again with a loud obnoxious sigh. "Yes, we all know Dean Winchester has been through more than the rest of us and we all know we'll never measure up." 

Dean's eyes widened. "I didn't mean...."

"No," Jo shook her head, "that was childish of me." She stepped closer. "But Dean, I can handle this." She stood so close to him that it forced him to look her straight in the eyes. "Can you try to believe in me?"  

"I believe in you." When his response didn't sound very believable, Dean rolled his eyes at himself. "Jo, I really do. I just don't want you getting hurt."

Jo shook her head. "Well you can stop worrying about me, Dean. I'm a grown up. And we both know you can't do this without me." She finished with a smile.

Dean smiled back, but there was sadness in it. "I'll never stop worrying about you." His voice dropped off at the end of the sentence, but he quickly recovered. "But you're right, we need you. Unless I want to send Sam up to Crowley's gates in a miniskirt instead."

Jo laughed at the thought of it. But she didn't stop thinking about what Dean had said. That he'd never stop worrying about her. Because she'd never stop worrying about him either.


End file.
